I have thought about starting this blog for a few years now (and whether it was procrastination or uncertainty to put myself out there online… who knows), but I never started it. I work full-time as a corporate banker and paralegal, so needless to say, I am a “follow the rules” kind of girl that leads a heavily work influenced non-existent social life. Don’t get me wrong, I love to spend time and travel with my family and close friends (heck, I love to even travel by myself), but I was noticing that the last 10 years grinding it out in the corporate world went by in a flash. I realized the truth in the wisdom of more mature people… that I regretted the things that I didn’t do or say yes to. It was too easy to sit on the couch and binge watch Black Mirror all weekend (only to start the work cycle over again the next Monday). Where did the weekend go? Where did the past 5 years go? Ever notice how although it seems like an impossibly short time that you have on vacation, you always seem to get more done (there is no “let’s just stay in and watch tv”)?
As part art of a leadership series at work, I was asked to write a letter to my younger professional self. Technically, I think I should have flunked the assignment because instead I wrote a letter to my personal self. I have always worked extremely hard in my career and progressed fast (and I have no qualms with my professional self… I’d probably do it the same way). Sure, I would have loved to have gone to law school, but I graduated in the beginning of the recession. With student loans that I will be paying off until my late 50’s anyway, law school just never really made sense. With the possibility of opening myself up to critique and judgement from the entirety of the internet for sharing my very personal letter to my younger self, here is what I said (and ultimately what prompted me to bite the bullet and start this blog that I have been procrastinating on)…
“October 19, 2018 –
Dear, Younger Self:
First and foremost, WIN AT LIFE. Try your hardest to accomplish everything to the best of your ability. Never do anything halfway. It is not in your nature, and you will not be happy with the results or yourself.
STOP BEING AFRAID TO LOSE. Quit trying to win at everything. Instead, learn to lose graciously without complaint or resentment. Lose arguments that “don’t really matter” to your family and friends. Life is less about your abilities and intelligence, but more so, about your character and the choices you make. Being always right is a cold and lonely mountaintop. Also, you aren’t always right, so be humble and appreciative when you are wrong. You made yourself look bad. Own it. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. We are all human.
Lose friends who do not support you, encourage you, celebrate your successes and lift you up. They are not good people, and they do not deserve your time and energy. Follow your heart, trust your gut, and use your brain. One future encounter will do irreparable damage to your sense of self and your trust in others. Do not let it. Respect your own sovereignty.
Do not be afraid to lose love. You will have several relationships that will fail, but each one will teach you a different thing about what you want out of life and yourself. You don’t want children, and that is ok. People will try to tell you that you will change your mind (you won’t), but they will make you feel like there is something wrong with you as a woman (there isn’t).
Lose the procrastination. Delaying will cause you too much worry and strife that it is still on your plate and you will still have to do it in the end anyway. Save yourself the worry.
Be kind to everyone. It is ok to be your unapologetic self as long as when you do truly owe someone an apology it is genuine and real. People that seem petty to you may have not had the same hard life experiences as you did. You learned what is important at an early age. It takes others longer to learn this lesson. This should not be held against them. Show compassion and patience to others around you instead of judging them erroneously. The road to understanding people different from you is paved with education, openness and awareness. You do not have to fully understand them or their beliefs, but you should give everyone a fair and fighting chance before you write them off.
Lose yourself in grief. You need time to deal with the emotions instead of pushing them to the back. Do not lose yourself in anger. In the end, it only affects you, so you are the only person that you are hurting by festering that fury and rage.
Lose yourself in the world. Stray into that tumultuous world of the unknown. You are strong, you are powerful, and you should explore the world and new things. Take that course, learn that language, read that book, eat that food, and take that trip. The world is your oyster, but you won’t catch that pearl sitting on your couch.
Most importantly, just lose yourself. Lose yourself in the moment instead of trying to analyze what comes next. Put your phone down, breath in, sink in the moment and really be present in the now. Enjoy life (you only get this one).
Very truly you,
Holly”
So with that little personal information out there on the internet forever … I hope you will join me in my journey and adventures into the great big world outside of my office cubical. Now, let’s go have some fun!!!