Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Waking up on my first full day in Buffalo after eating such a fatty dinner the previous night, I decided to hit the Hyatt Regency Buffalo’s gym (you know, so I could live with myself). After cycling on a stationary bike for 40 minutes (the old man next to me was putting me to shame), I spent another 20 minutes on the free weights. Since I was hot from the workout, I decided to go on to breakfast in the rain in my light jacket, tank top and basketball shorts. It was only 38 degrees, but the entirety of Buffalo was bundled up like Eskimos. After googling breakfast spots within walking distance to the hotel, I settled on Feature. An eatery only a few blocks up on Main Street.

I wanted a large black coffee and a simple egg and cheese sandwich. Unfortunately, I was too late as they had ran out of toast, but they substituted a sourdough bagel. Although greasy, it was simply delicious. 

As most of my friends were on an all day Canadian wine tour, I took this time after a brief shower to take the rental car back to the Buffalo airport. The ride back to downtown was a quick hop on the Route 204 NFTA-Metro bus ($2.50 exact change) back to Pearl Street which took about 25 minutes including the wait time for the bus. Note: The 204 express bus is a cheap and easy way to get from the airport to downtown or vice versa, and it is plenty spacious to bring on your checked luggage, but it only runs limited hours (6 AM to 6 PM Monday-Friday).

I decided to tour Buffalo on foot as I headed down to the canal side. As I walked in the drizzling cold but refreshing rain, I took in the city. Downtown Buffalo is a weird dichotomy of poor commuters and oddly wealthy eclectic shop owners. At the end of Pearl Street, I ran into the Buffalo & Erie County Naval & Military Park. 

The canal side was deserted, but this was to be expected given that it was almost November. It was nice to walk around at my leisure, but at this point the rain was starting to get heavier. I encountered several joggers which I figured are typically the only people on a week day that visit the canal side in late October.

There were several obviously city commissioned graffiti arts dispersed throughout city which I absolutely loved. These were so beautifully and well done that is instilled a sense of pride in Buffalo which was apparent throughout the city (even with its homeless). They had their items in neat piles, picking up their and other people’s trash, and they were all in all trying not to be seen or messed with. I have a deeply profound respect for people who respect and love their city.

Walking under the highway overpasses on my way back from the canal side, I stumbled upon the Buffalo Bisons Minor League Baseball Stadium at Coca-Cola Field. Once again, the homeless seeking shelter from the rain were very courteous. Not once was I panhandled. Not even when I stopped to take a photo outside of Coca-Cola Field of this statue of the former Buffalo Mayor, Jimmy Griffin. I must admit that although I know this is supposed to be a representation of him pitching, I loved this statue because it looks like his is staring in the classic Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly 1949 musical On the Town (maybe because I had just visited the naval yard)!

I made my way back over to and up Main Street, cut over to Pearl and decided to walk to a nearby City Wine Merchant Wine Shop in the theatre district since you can’t buy wine in convenience stores in NY. Thoroughly soaked through now, I finally decided to make my way back to the hotel resembling something like a drowned sewer rat. 

Side note: Since living in a small town in North Carolina where you drive everywhere, I forgot how much men in the city catcall women. Not being used to this and with my expected southern charm, I kept replying “hey, how ya doing?” To men who said “hey there, pretty lady, etc.” Stupid, I know, but not being catcalled in a while, I actually enjoyed the attention. There was one older man in his late 60’s/ early 70’s carrying a box out of a shop who actually won me over. He shout, “Hey miss, hey miss, you dropped something!” Naturally, I spun around to see what I had dropped. Seeing nothing, I looked back up to the man who was now about 100 feet away, and he yelled, “You dropped your smile.” I had to laugh because I was soaked to the bone with wet hair and no makeup, I am sure that I was doing anything but smiling as I previously passed the older gentleman on the street. Once I laughed, he shouted, “See, I knew you could find it!” This is the correct way to catcall a woman if you must.  I had several other not so nice encounters including one man upon my return greeting as I was walking in the opposite direction crossed the street and started to follow me saying “Hey, baby, come here. Can I talk to you for a second?”

The answer is no. “Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.” Ladies, do not reply and keeping walking picking up your pace until you are in a safe place. This is not the music video for Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel.” Guys, when a woman is walking away from you, it does not mean that she wants you to follow her, and do you really want to be taking Michael Jackson’s relationslip/consent advice anyway? (What… too soon?)

Wanting to just be dry, I walked into the Hotel’s Atrium Bistro for lunch and ordered a Beet Salad, Mushroom Cream Soup, and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc while I occupied my time with work emails. By the time my hair had almost dried (my clothes were still soaking wet), my belly was full, and I was somewhat warmer, the registration to the AWS Conference was open. I gathered my packet and headed up to the room to shower and get ready for Halloween. 

I forgot my mother’s lesson not to put cheap fabrics in the dryer, so my 1950’s Halloween costumer turned out a little shorter than it should have. After a day of walking around Buffalo being catcalled, I knew that I was not going to leave the hotel alone dressed as I was. My friend was kind enough to escort me to the Local Kitchen and Beer Bar where several other people from the conference were having dinner. I met a lovely group from Ohio (Jerome “Jerry”, Denise, Dennis, Linda, Chris & Kathy) who pulled up an extra chair for this unknown girl, and they welcomed me into their group with open arms. I ate the local speciality Beef on Weck ($14) which is a beef sandwich with a horseradish spread that was superb, and I shared my potato squares with my newfound friends while taking them up on their recommendation of two (2) pints of the Lakeside Loganberry brew ($13.80). I was also introduced to a New Jersey chapter of the AWS, but more info on these lovely people in the upcoming AWS Conference post.

What a great way to spend Halloween … conversing late into the night with new friends! 

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Since I had extra vacations days to burn this year, I decided that I would head up to Buffalo, NY a little early for a mini solo vacation before the 2018 American Wine Society National Conference. This was my first time flying JetBlue airlines, and my check in at the Raleigh Durham International Airport was super easy as always (thanks to my Mom for being my chauffeur, so I didn’t have to pay to park my car for a week). I don’t really know why, but Terminal 2 at RDU is one of my favorite terminals ever (it has something to do with the fact that it is very spacious, so I don’t ever have to accidentally and awkwardly bump into strangers).

I had a short layover at JFK, but it was enough time to comfortably go to the bathroom, grab a banana, boiled eggs, and coffee for breakfast from a kiosk, check some work emails, confirm my car rental pickup in Buffalo, remote check into my hotel, and get back on the plane at the same gate. Very, very easy traveling. 

Upon landing in Buffalo, it was a short walk to the luggage claim (bags came out quick), and a quick walk across the street to the Alamo car rental check-in. I had no issues with Alamo and rented a 2018 Ford Explorer (which was way bigger than I needed). I had originally planned on heading to the hotel to check-in, and traveling to Niagara Falls the next day, but the day was a sunny and beautiful 60 degrees (the next day was supposed to be raining), so I decided to go ahead and drive up to Niagara Falls by myself. It was actually so warm out that (instead of turning on the AC) I accidentally turned on the seat cooler (I didn’t even know that this was a thing). It was a surprising and unpleasant shock to my …um… “system”. Note to self and a lesson that I never seem to learn: Always play with the rental car features before driving down the highway, kids.

The drive to the Niagara Falls was a short 30 minutes from the Buffalo airport. Thank you to the Alamo check-in girl who told me to avoid the toll road. Parking at the mall across the street from the Niagara State Park was $5 (which was cheaper than the $10 to park at the Falls, and it was only a block walk… I actually missed the turn into the park, so it worked out well in my favor). The state park was under construction, so it was a little difficult figuring out how to get down to the actual falls, but the day was beautiful, and the walk was refreshing.

I did take a wrong turn at the blocked off visitor’s center, and I noticed a skeevy guy in a camafalouge down-feather jacket who started to follow me (although I was pretty sure he was just trying to sell me drugs, I was NOT sticking around to find out on my solo journey to the Falls). I quickly joined an Indian family touring the Falls until he stopped following (“Stay sexy, and don’t get murdered”, am I right, MFM Murderinos?) This was my first time at Niagara Falls, and it was a very… ah… “big” waterfall. I was channeling in my head … (if my brothers had been with me, then I would have probably had the courage to say it out loud in a soliloquy because I am cheeky that way) Mr. Bean’s Whistler’s Mother Speech from the 1997 classic Bean, standing there gazing down upon it… “What have I learned that I  can say about this ‘waterfall’; um, well firstly, it’s quite big which is excellent because if it was really small, you know, microscopic, then hardly anybody would be able to see it which would be a tremendous shame,” but, hey, it was a box checked off from my bucket list.

After the sun started to set, I made my way to the Hyatt Regency Buffalo which was where the AWS conference was held (luckily, the conference discounted rate was still in effect for my extended stay…. If you don’t know me personally, then let me introduce you, hello, my name is Holly, and I am always looking for a cheap deal). The overnight parking was $25 valet parking per day which was nice not having to park the monster truck I rented. This is one of the nicer hotels that I have stayed at with the conference. The staff was so friendly, and the whole experience with Hyatt was well above and beyond my expectations.

After checking in and getting settled into my room (I love a king bed and enough pillows to make a cocoon out of, but the TV was a little too large if that is even such a thing), I went in search of friends that were arriving for the conference early for a place to catch up, grab some dinner and drinks.

Unfortunately, no peasants were allowed to join during the conference committee dinner at the Anchor Bar, so I would have to make time in my trip to get Buffalo wings somewhere else. Starving, I trotted over to the whiskey bar which is literally out the hotel’s front door and across Pearl Street.

The Lucky Day Whiskey Bar is a hypster’s paradise with its exposed brick, wood beams, low lighting, and a magnificently backlit Whiskey wall. Now, let me get on my high-horse here a minute… I am young, but I look like I am even younger… I know this. One of my biggest pet peeves is walking into a store or a restaurant and getting stereotyped because of my age that I am either not going to order a lot because I am a single female diner, tip poorly, or just be a millennial pain in their butt, but if you are in the service industry provide the service without stereotyping. The hostess at the Lucky Day Whiskey Bar never came to seat me after seeing me walk in and wait politely. After giving up on my stubborn prideful moral high ground because I was starving, I asked the bartender if I could just take a seat at one of the bar’s separate high top tables. The bartender then proceeds to make me walk up to the bar to awkwardly grab and balance my own plate, silverware, water-glass and drink order (a $10 Manhattan) after starting my tab. Let me clarify, it was 7:30PM on a Tuesday evening, and the bar was empty.

Once I placed my starter food order of steak tartar ($12) and bone marrow ($18), their attitude and quality of service changed rapidly as it typically does. The  tartar was absolutely delicious and after my hangriness started to dissipate, I started to feel a little less pissed off and a lot more relaxed like I was finally on vacation. By the way, does anyone actually eat steak tartar with the croutons or does everyone eat it straight with a fork like I do? Maybe I am weird, but no one needs those bread calories mucking up my high fat dinner.

I did breakdown and use the croutons with the bone marrow because I have yet to suck the bones in public like I would if I were in the comfort of my own home. Both appetizers were delicious, and I ordered an Old Fashioned ($10) to help break up the fattiness of the bone marrow. For those of you that haven’t tried bone marrow… just do it! It is as if real butter and a filet minion had a decadent, delicious love child. Be forwarned though, your cholesterol will rise as you eat it (a little goes a long way).

After I was done eating (or so I thought), I moved to the bar from the high top with my Old Fashioned in hand to engage in conversation with the bartender (different one than the guy who made me serve myself). Staring up at the vast amount of backlit whiskey bottles on the wall, the new bartender and I started talking about why I was in Buffalo (for a Wine Society Conference), and he asked if I wanted to try something else. I asked for a 1 oz pour of something local, bourbon, smooth, smokey and second-shelf (Ha… I had to show some restrain somewhere). He did not disappoint as he presented me with a “7/23/18 batch #18 barrel aged [for] a minimum of 2 years in New American white oak tripled charred barrels” from the Iron Smoke Distillery ($6) in Fairport, NY which was exquisite.

Let me read to you the back of the bottle, “What you have here in your hands is our legendary four grain straight bourbon with apple wood smoked wheat, carefully handcrafted and aged to perfection in our small batch artisan farm distillery in Fairport, NY. We use ingredients from American farms and water from the glacier-formed Finger Lakes. The character of Iron Smoke is distinct… smooth tasting with a whisper of sweet apple wood smoke. Whiskey up! Your pal, Skully.” I am not a big fan of straight bourbon (or any hard liquor for that matter), but this was smooth, a bit sweet and extremely gentle hint of mouth-watering smoky tastiness.  I happily sipped on this and ate another appitizer (don’t judge… it is unbecoming) of Chicken Liver Paté ($8) as Tyler Westcott (in the band Folkfaces) solo performed some very folky live music saturated in a bluesy and low-down country growl topped with a bit of funk and grit reminiscent of John Lee Hooker’s “Deep Blue Sea” (throwing in a lot of puns and jokes into his set, he looks like a young nephew of zz top) with a cover of Mel Waiters “Got My Whiskey” and Mississippi John Hunt’s “Let the Mermaids Flirt With Me” prompting this North Carolinian to leave the Lucky Day Whiskey Bar very happy and satiated leaving both the bartender and the live music with a generous tip for a lovely and welcoming ending to my first day in Buffalo, NY. 

I have thought about starting this blog for a few years now (and whether it was procrastination or uncertainty to put myself out there online… who knows), but I never started it. I work full-time as a corporate banker and paralegal, so needless to say, I am a “follow the rules” kind of girl that leads a heavily work influenced non-existent social life. Don’t get me wrong, I love to spend time and travel with my family and close friends (heck, I love to even travel by myself), but I was noticing that the last 10 years grinding it out in the corporate world went by in a flash. I realized the truth in the wisdom of more mature people… that I regretted the things that I didn’t do or say yes to. It was too easy to sit on the couch and binge watch Black Mirror all weekend (only to start the work cycle over again the next Monday). Where did the weekend go? Where did the past 5 years go? Ever notice how although it seems like an impossibly short time that you have on vacation, you always seem to get more done (there is no “let’s just stay in and watch tv”)?

As part art of a leadership series at work, I was asked to write a letter to my younger professional self. Technically, I think I should have flunked the assignment because instead I wrote a letter to my personal self. I have always worked extremely hard in my career and progressed fast (and I have no qualms with my professional self… I’d probably do it the same way). Sure, I would have loved to have gone to law school, but I graduated in the beginning of the recession. With student loans that I will be paying off until my late 50’s anyway, law school just never really made sense. With the possibility of opening myself up to critique and judgement from the entirety of the internet for sharing my very personal letter to my younger self, here is what I said (and ultimately what prompted me to bite the bullet and start this blog that I have been procrastinating on)…

“October 19, 2018 –

Dear, Younger Self:

First and foremost, WIN AT LIFE. Try your hardest to accomplish everything to the best of your ability. Never do anything halfway. It is not in your nature, and you will not be happy with the results or yourself.

STOP BEING AFRAID TO LOSE. Quit trying to win at everything. Instead, learn to lose graciously without complaint or resentment. Lose arguments that “don’t really matter” to your family and friends. Life is less about your abilities and intelligence, but more so, about your character and the choices you make. Being always right is a cold and lonely mountaintop. Also, you aren’t always right, so be humble and appreciative when you are wrong. You made yourself look bad. Own it. Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. We are all human.

Lose friends who do not support you, encourage you, celebrate your successes and lift you up. They are not good people, and they do not deserve your time and energy. Follow your heart, trust your gut, and use your brain. One future encounter will do irreparable damage to your sense of self and your trust in others. Do not let it. Respect your own sovereignty. 

Do not be afraid to lose love. You will have several relationships that will fail, but each one will teach you a different thing about what you want out of life and yourself. You don’t want children, and that is ok. People will try to tell you that you will change your mind (you won’t), but they will make you feel like there is something wrong with you as a woman (there isn’t).    

Lose the procrastination. Delaying will cause you too much worry and strife that it is still on your plate and you will still have to do it in the end anyway. Save yourself the worry.

Be kind to everyone. It is ok to be your unapologetic self as long as when you do truly owe someone an apology it is genuine and real. People that seem petty to you may have not had the same hard life experiences as you did. You learned what is important at an early age. It takes others longer to learn this lesson. This should not be held against them. Show compassion and patience to others around you instead of judging them erroneously. The road to understanding people different from you is paved with education, openness and awareness. You do not have to fully understand them or their beliefs, but you should give everyone a fair and fighting chance before you write them off.

Lose yourself in grief. You need time to deal with the emotions instead of pushing them to the back. Do not lose yourself in anger. In the end, it only affects you, so you are the only person that you are hurting by festering that fury and rage.

Lose yourself in the world. Stray into that tumultuous world of the unknown. You are strong, you are powerful, and you should explore the world and new things. Take that course, learn that language, read that book, eat that food, and take that trip.  The world is your oyster, but you won’t catch that pearl sitting on your couch.

Most importantly, just lose yourself. Lose yourself in the moment instead of trying to analyze what comes next.  Put your phone down, breath in, sink in the moment and really be present in the now. Enjoy life (you only get this one).

Very truly you,

Holly”

So with that little personal information out there on the internet forever … I hope you will join me in my journey and adventures into the great big world outside of my office cubical. Now, let’s go have some fun!!!